J2 RPS Fic: Noticed
Dec. 17th, 2008 09:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
switch842Title: Noticed
Summary: Jared's started to notice some things.
Word Count: 2578
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not real. Please don't sue. I have no money anyway.
A/N: The disjointed and vaguely stream-of-consciousness writing is on purpose. Please don't let it throw you. Comments are wonderful. Please leave the author a cookie. Cos I can't believe I'm actually posting this. *facepalm*
Please leave any feedback/comments at my fic journal.
Noticed
Jared knew. He liked to pretend he was oblivious to what was going on; it was just easier that way. But it’s kind of hard to not notice your best friend being in love with you.
It had started early in their friendship. Not long into filming the first season they had been out at some bar celebrating…something. Jared didn’t remember what it was exactly, but it wasn’t important. What was important was that there had been tequila. Lots of tequila. And they somehow ended up playing a really lame version of truth or dare. Where it was all pretty much truth, anyway, because there weren’t many dares you could get away with out in public without getting kicked out of the bar. Except for ordering the most frou-frou girly drink they had and sipping on it daintily.
So, at some point in their drunken evening, Jensen had confessed to not exactly being a strict zero on the Kinsey scale. He said he probably hovered somewhere around a three, but had been known to go up to a five should the situation present itself.
Jared had been surprised, to say the least. Not that it mattered, really. Just some new and unexpected information to file away in his “Things I Know About Jensen” folder.
And in the end it hadn’t changed anything. In fact, Jared wasn’t even sure Jensen remembered spilling the beans on that little secret since he didn’t act any differently at all. So, their friendship continued and Jensen became the best friend Jared had ever had. And there was no way he was ever going to ruin that.
So, when Jared found himself a few years later back at the same bar, celebrating the successful end of season four and being renewed for season five (season FIVE!!), he couldn’t help but think back to that other time.
A lot had changed since then. Jared had gotten engaged, broken off the engagement, moved Jensen into his house and honestly? Jared couldn’t remember being happier. That should have clued him in, really.
By the time Jared and Jensen were stuffed into the back of the car and driven home, Jared was thoroughly confused. He’d spent the night watching Jensen, seeing how he acted around other people. Because Jared had started to notice things. The way Jensen’s hand would linger after patting him on the shoulder; the way he would catch Jensen looking at him and would then quickly look away when Jared caught his eye. The way Jensen didn’t do that to anyone else. Oh, yeah. Jared noticed things.
But he didn’t just notice things about Jensen. Oh, no. There were things Jared noticed about himself, too. The way he leaned into Jensen’s touches; the way he would feel his face warm slightly after catching Jensen staring at him; the way he started picturing Jensen when jerking off.
Yeah, that last one had caught his attention. It was a recent development. Started only after Jared started noticing the Jensen things. It had made him curious. Because, well, guys had never really entered into that portion of his radar. Not that he was anti-gay or anything. He didn’t care. It just wasn’t for him. Or so he thought.
The first time it had happened had been about 4 months after Jensen had moved in. They had just been lounging around the house after a long day of filming, eating bad Chinese take-out and watching bad action movies. They’d had a few beers and Jensen was being a little more handsy than usual. Not that Jared minded. Hell, Jared was a handsy guy pretty much all the time. But anyway, by the end of the movie, Jensen had been slumped bodily against Jared; their heads resting together. Jared had had his arm up along the back of the couch and was just playing with the short hairs on the back of Jensen’s neck. He wasn’t even consciously doing it. It was just another one of his Jared’s touchy moments. But then Jensen had looked up at him, all sleepy-eyed and smiled and Jared swore Jensen was going to lean in and kiss him. Instead, he just said goodnight and patted Jared on the leg before standing up and heading off to his room.
Jared was surprised to notice that he was disappointed. And kind of hard.
So, he carried himself off to his room and turned on the shower. He usually showered when they got home from set, but the food had smelled too inviting to wait. Plus, well, he wanted a little more privacy than usual for his little experiment. He began washing himself clean of the day and when he reached his cock (which was still hard, Jared was pleased to notice), instead of picturing the usual voluptuous female, he pictured Jensen. Who was neither voluptuous nor female. He pictured Jensen leaning in as he had earlier, but continuing the motion and kissing Jared; he pictured Jensen on his knees, swallowing down Jared’s cock. Interestingly, Jared came harder than he had in a really long time.
As the car pulled up to their house, and it had been a long time since Jared stopped considering it just “his” house, Jared thought back to that night. Since then, Jensen had been invading his thoughts more frequently. All times of the day and night, Jensen was there. Jared’d be watching something on TV and think Jensen would be amused by it; read something funny on the internet and send a link for Jensen to look at later. It was a wonder he’d never noticed it before – he was in love in Jensen.
The two clambered inside the house, Jared hanging onto Jensen a little more tightly than was strictly necessary, but it suddenly became extremely urgent that Jared know. Had to know what Jensen’s lips would feel like on his, what his body would feel like against his. Happily, Jared had enough sense to wait until they were inside before jumping Jensen. He pushed Jensen back up against the door as it closed and sloppily pressed their lips together.
“Whoa, Jared,” Jensen said, pushing him back. “What are you doing?”
“Kissing you,” Jared said.
“I noticed that. What I mean is, why?”
“’Cause I noticed, Jen. And I need to know.”
“What did you notice? What do you need to know?” Jensen asked gently.
“That you’re in love with me. And I need to know if I’m in love with you, too.”
Jensen hung his head and sighed. Jared didn’t like that.
“You don’t know if you’re in love with me and thought kissing me would help you work it out?”
Jared pondered that for a moment and then nodded enthusiastically. Sounded like a good plan to him. He leaned in to try and kiss Jensen again only to be stopped before getting there.
“Jay, man,” Jensen whispered. “Don’t do this. Not now, okay? If you still want to do this when you’re sober, then I’ll listen. But not now. Not like this. Okay?”
Jared pouted. He didn’t want to think, he just wanted to do. He’d had enough thinking. Couldn’t Jensen see that?
“Let’s get you to bed, buddy.”
Jared reluctantly let Jensen lead him up the stairs to his bedroom. He tried to help Jensen get his clothes off, but his hands didn’t seem to want to work. Eventually, they got him down to his boxers and Jensen got him settled under the covers. For a second, Jared was afraid Jensen was just going to leave, but he had just gone to get a glass of water from the bathroom tap. As he set it on the bedside table, Jared grabbed his wrist. He rubbed the soft skin there and sighed to himself.
“Don’t go,” he whispered. He closed his eyes as Jensen brushed the hair back from his forehead.
“I’ll stay ‘til you fall asleep,” Jensen replied sitting on the edge of Jared’s bed.
That was good enough for now and Jared settled into his pillow. He squeezed his eyes shut to try and stop the room from spinning. Tomorrow everything would be fine, he thought to himself. So, Jensen didn’t believe him. Jared would just have to make him understand.
“Love you, Jen,” he whispered as he drifted off to sleep.
“Love you, too,” Jensen replied to the sleeping Jared.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Jensen was a little worried. Jared was pounding back the drinks a little harder than he normally did at these cast and crew parties. But he seemed to be doing okay. Even if he was keeping himself off in one corner and glaring at everyone with a little frown on his face.
Seeing the way Jared was acting, Jensen went easy that night, sipping the same beer for most of the evening. After rubbing elbows with a few of the more important people that night Jensen finally got Jared away and stuffed into the back of their car.
The ride home was interesting, to say the least. Jared kept looking at him strangely; like he was trying to figure out some horribly complicated math problem. It worried Jensen. Jared should have been blabbering away and talking a mile a minute about absolutely nothing. But he was stone silent.
Jensen worried that he’d given himself away. He’d loved Jared for awhile now and it had been getting harder to keep things in check. He’d almost slipped up a few months back after he’d first moved in. He’d been overly tired from a long day of filming and buzzed off the MSG of bad Chinese and the few beers he’d had. Jared playing with his hair hadn’t helped matters much. Jensen didn’t have any clue as to what had been happening for the last hour in the movie they had been watching. Jared’s hands were very distracting.
When Jensen’s mind finally caught on to the fact that the credits were rolling, he figured he should get up and go to bed. He sat up from where he’d been leaning up against Jared and turned to get up only to find his face mere inches from Jared’s. It had taken every ounce of willpower he had not to lean in and just kiss him. Instead, he patted Jared on the leg, said goodnight and went to his room to take care of the little problem that had, um, popped up.
He’d tried being careful since then; making sure he didn’t touch too much or stare too long. But, he knew he’d been slipping. And since Jared knew about him, it was a dangerous situation to be in. Oh, yes. Jensen remembered that night in the bar all those years ago with the Sex on Beaches (Sexes on the Beach?) and the frou-frou umbrellas and slices of fruit and truth or dare that was mostly just truth. He’d let his secret out. He couldn’t help himself, really. You would have to be blind not to see how hot Jared was, and at the time, it had seemed best to just get it out of the way in case he did slip up. Or it could have just been the large amounts of tequila and rum he had consumed. But, he didn’t want to make it a big deal, so he’d never mentioned it again. To his credit, Jared didn’t treat him any differently and Jensen was proud to call Jared his best friend.
But now, well, Jensen was worried that Jared had figured out the BIG SECRET. So big that it required all capital letters when being thought about. And Jensen was thinking about it more frequently lately. It was to be expected, really. More than likely, Supernatural would be coming to and end after this fifth season. And that was fine, really. They’d had a great run; to drag it out any longer wouldn’t be doing anyone any favors. The only thing he would really miss was Jared. The prospect of not seeing his ugly mug every day was disconcerting. So, if he’d indulged in touching more recently, well, he was only trying to get what he could while Jared was still around.
By the time the car pulled up in front of their house (and it really was their house now), Jensen was positively petrified. He wrestled Jared out of the car and up the walk. As he struggled to get the front door open, which was no easy feat with Jared draped all over him, Jensen knew he had to get Jared away from him as quickly as possible.
Things did not go according to Jensen’s plan.
Jared practically slammed him up against the door and attempted to kiss him. Jensen called it an attempt because, even though there was lip to lip contact, Jared was so drunk it was way too sloppy to be called a proper kiss.
“Whoa, Jared,” Jensen said, pushing him back. “What are you doing?”
“Kissing you,” Jared slurred.
“I noticed that. What I mean is, why?”
“’Cause I noticed, Jen. And I need to know.”
Oh, shit. Jared knew.
“What did you notice? What do you need to know?” Jensen asked gently.
“That you’re in love with me. And I need to know if I’m in love with you, too.”
Jensen hung his head and sighed. This was the last thing he’d wanted to happen. Jared wasn’t supposed to know. And since when did Jared go around kissing guys, anyway? He was definitely a zero on the scale.
“You don’t know if you’re in love with me and thought kissing me would help you work it out?”
Jensen waited as Jared seemed to think over his question. With an enthusiastic nod, Jared started to lean in again. Jensen put his hands up on Jared’s chest (And damn! When did he get so fucking built?) to keep him from coming any closer. He had to put a stop to this; he didn’t want Jared regretting anything they might do together.
“Jay, man,” Jensen whispered. “Don’t do this. Not now, okay? If you still want to do this when you’re sober, then I’ll listen. But not now. Not like this. Okay?”
Jared pouted. And Jensen didn’t want to see that. Jared in full pout mode was a force to be reckoned with. He had to get Jared away from him. Everything would be better in the morning.
“Let’s get you to bed, buddy.”
Jensen was glad when Jared let himself be dragged upstairs to his room. They started getting Jared undressed, but Jared turned out to be more of a hindrance in his inebriation, so Jensen got him to stop and finished stripping Jared down to his boxers. He tucked him into bed and went to get a glass of water from the bathroom and some aspirin for the morning. He started to leave and put himself to bed when Jared reached out to grab his wrist.
“Don’t go,” he whispered.
Jensen brushed the hair back from Jared’s forehead, trying to ignore the way Jared was stroking the skin on his wrist, and sat on the edge of the bed, unable to deny his friend anything. “I’ll stay ‘til you fall asleep,” Jensen promised.
Jensen kept watch as Jared’s breath slowly evened out and he seemed to fall asleep. Jensen got up off the bed and was almost to the door when he heard Jared.
“Love you, Jen.”
“Love you, too,” Jensen replied to the sleeping Jared.
What a mess.
THE END
Part 2: Promise
Summary: Jared's started to notice some things.
Word Count: 2578
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not real. Please don't sue. I have no money anyway.
A/N: The disjointed and vaguely stream-of-consciousness writing is on purpose. Please don't let it throw you. Comments are wonderful. Please leave the author a cookie. Cos I can't believe I'm actually posting this. *facepalm*
Please leave any feedback/comments at my fic journal.
Noticed
Jared knew. He liked to pretend he was oblivious to what was going on; it was just easier that way. But it’s kind of hard to not notice your best friend being in love with you.
It had started early in their friendship. Not long into filming the first season they had been out at some bar celebrating…something. Jared didn’t remember what it was exactly, but it wasn’t important. What was important was that there had been tequila. Lots of tequila. And they somehow ended up playing a really lame version of truth or dare. Where it was all pretty much truth, anyway, because there weren’t many dares you could get away with out in public without getting kicked out of the bar. Except for ordering the most frou-frou girly drink they had and sipping on it daintily.
So, at some point in their drunken evening, Jensen had confessed to not exactly being a strict zero on the Kinsey scale. He said he probably hovered somewhere around a three, but had been known to go up to a five should the situation present itself.
Jared had been surprised, to say the least. Not that it mattered, really. Just some new and unexpected information to file away in his “Things I Know About Jensen” folder.
And in the end it hadn’t changed anything. In fact, Jared wasn’t even sure Jensen remembered spilling the beans on that little secret since he didn’t act any differently at all. So, their friendship continued and Jensen became the best friend Jared had ever had. And there was no way he was ever going to ruin that.
So, when Jared found himself a few years later back at the same bar, celebrating the successful end of season four and being renewed for season five (season FIVE!!), he couldn’t help but think back to that other time.
A lot had changed since then. Jared had gotten engaged, broken off the engagement, moved Jensen into his house and honestly? Jared couldn’t remember being happier. That should have clued him in, really.
By the time Jared and Jensen were stuffed into the back of the car and driven home, Jared was thoroughly confused. He’d spent the night watching Jensen, seeing how he acted around other people. Because Jared had started to notice things. The way Jensen’s hand would linger after patting him on the shoulder; the way he would catch Jensen looking at him and would then quickly look away when Jared caught his eye. The way Jensen didn’t do that to anyone else. Oh, yeah. Jared noticed things.
But he didn’t just notice things about Jensen. Oh, no. There were things Jared noticed about himself, too. The way he leaned into Jensen’s touches; the way he would feel his face warm slightly after catching Jensen staring at him; the way he started picturing Jensen when jerking off.
Yeah, that last one had caught his attention. It was a recent development. Started only after Jared started noticing the Jensen things. It had made him curious. Because, well, guys had never really entered into that portion of his radar. Not that he was anti-gay or anything. He didn’t care. It just wasn’t for him. Or so he thought.
The first time it had happened had been about 4 months after Jensen had moved in. They had just been lounging around the house after a long day of filming, eating bad Chinese take-out and watching bad action movies. They’d had a few beers and Jensen was being a little more handsy than usual. Not that Jared minded. Hell, Jared was a handsy guy pretty much all the time. But anyway, by the end of the movie, Jensen had been slumped bodily against Jared; their heads resting together. Jared had had his arm up along the back of the couch and was just playing with the short hairs on the back of Jensen’s neck. He wasn’t even consciously doing it. It was just another one of his Jared’s touchy moments. But then Jensen had looked up at him, all sleepy-eyed and smiled and Jared swore Jensen was going to lean in and kiss him. Instead, he just said goodnight and patted Jared on the leg before standing up and heading off to his room.
Jared was surprised to notice that he was disappointed. And kind of hard.
So, he carried himself off to his room and turned on the shower. He usually showered when they got home from set, but the food had smelled too inviting to wait. Plus, well, he wanted a little more privacy than usual for his little experiment. He began washing himself clean of the day and when he reached his cock (which was still hard, Jared was pleased to notice), instead of picturing the usual voluptuous female, he pictured Jensen. Who was neither voluptuous nor female. He pictured Jensen leaning in as he had earlier, but continuing the motion and kissing Jared; he pictured Jensen on his knees, swallowing down Jared’s cock. Interestingly, Jared came harder than he had in a really long time.
As the car pulled up to their house, and it had been a long time since Jared stopped considering it just “his” house, Jared thought back to that night. Since then, Jensen had been invading his thoughts more frequently. All times of the day and night, Jensen was there. Jared’d be watching something on TV and think Jensen would be amused by it; read something funny on the internet and send a link for Jensen to look at later. It was a wonder he’d never noticed it before – he was in love in Jensen.
The two clambered inside the house, Jared hanging onto Jensen a little more tightly than was strictly necessary, but it suddenly became extremely urgent that Jared know. Had to know what Jensen’s lips would feel like on his, what his body would feel like against his. Happily, Jared had enough sense to wait until they were inside before jumping Jensen. He pushed Jensen back up against the door as it closed and sloppily pressed their lips together.
“Whoa, Jared,” Jensen said, pushing him back. “What are you doing?”
“Kissing you,” Jared said.
“I noticed that. What I mean is, why?”
“’Cause I noticed, Jen. And I need to know.”
“What did you notice? What do you need to know?” Jensen asked gently.
“That you’re in love with me. And I need to know if I’m in love with you, too.”
Jensen hung his head and sighed. Jared didn’t like that.
“You don’t know if you’re in love with me and thought kissing me would help you work it out?”
Jared pondered that for a moment and then nodded enthusiastically. Sounded like a good plan to him. He leaned in to try and kiss Jensen again only to be stopped before getting there.
“Jay, man,” Jensen whispered. “Don’t do this. Not now, okay? If you still want to do this when you’re sober, then I’ll listen. But not now. Not like this. Okay?”
Jared pouted. He didn’t want to think, he just wanted to do. He’d had enough thinking. Couldn’t Jensen see that?
“Let’s get you to bed, buddy.”
Jared reluctantly let Jensen lead him up the stairs to his bedroom. He tried to help Jensen get his clothes off, but his hands didn’t seem to want to work. Eventually, they got him down to his boxers and Jensen got him settled under the covers. For a second, Jared was afraid Jensen was just going to leave, but he had just gone to get a glass of water from the bathroom tap. As he set it on the bedside table, Jared grabbed his wrist. He rubbed the soft skin there and sighed to himself.
“Don’t go,” he whispered. He closed his eyes as Jensen brushed the hair back from his forehead.
“I’ll stay ‘til you fall asleep,” Jensen replied sitting on the edge of Jared’s bed.
That was good enough for now and Jared settled into his pillow. He squeezed his eyes shut to try and stop the room from spinning. Tomorrow everything would be fine, he thought to himself. So, Jensen didn’t believe him. Jared would just have to make him understand.
“Love you, Jen,” he whispered as he drifted off to sleep.
“Love you, too,” Jensen replied to the sleeping Jared.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Jensen was a little worried. Jared was pounding back the drinks a little harder than he normally did at these cast and crew parties. But he seemed to be doing okay. Even if he was keeping himself off in one corner and glaring at everyone with a little frown on his face.
Seeing the way Jared was acting, Jensen went easy that night, sipping the same beer for most of the evening. After rubbing elbows with a few of the more important people that night Jensen finally got Jared away and stuffed into the back of their car.
The ride home was interesting, to say the least. Jared kept looking at him strangely; like he was trying to figure out some horribly complicated math problem. It worried Jensen. Jared should have been blabbering away and talking a mile a minute about absolutely nothing. But he was stone silent.
Jensen worried that he’d given himself away. He’d loved Jared for awhile now and it had been getting harder to keep things in check. He’d almost slipped up a few months back after he’d first moved in. He’d been overly tired from a long day of filming and buzzed off the MSG of bad Chinese and the few beers he’d had. Jared playing with his hair hadn’t helped matters much. Jensen didn’t have any clue as to what had been happening for the last hour in the movie they had been watching. Jared’s hands were very distracting.
When Jensen’s mind finally caught on to the fact that the credits were rolling, he figured he should get up and go to bed. He sat up from where he’d been leaning up against Jared and turned to get up only to find his face mere inches from Jared’s. It had taken every ounce of willpower he had not to lean in and just kiss him. Instead, he patted Jared on the leg, said goodnight and went to his room to take care of the little problem that had, um, popped up.
He’d tried being careful since then; making sure he didn’t touch too much or stare too long. But, he knew he’d been slipping. And since Jared knew about him, it was a dangerous situation to be in. Oh, yes. Jensen remembered that night in the bar all those years ago with the Sex on Beaches (Sexes on the Beach?) and the frou-frou umbrellas and slices of fruit and truth or dare that was mostly just truth. He’d let his secret out. He couldn’t help himself, really. You would have to be blind not to see how hot Jared was, and at the time, it had seemed best to just get it out of the way in case he did slip up. Or it could have just been the large amounts of tequila and rum he had consumed. But, he didn’t want to make it a big deal, so he’d never mentioned it again. To his credit, Jared didn’t treat him any differently and Jensen was proud to call Jared his best friend.
But now, well, Jensen was worried that Jared had figured out the BIG SECRET. So big that it required all capital letters when being thought about. And Jensen was thinking about it more frequently lately. It was to be expected, really. More than likely, Supernatural would be coming to and end after this fifth season. And that was fine, really. They’d had a great run; to drag it out any longer wouldn’t be doing anyone any favors. The only thing he would really miss was Jared. The prospect of not seeing his ugly mug every day was disconcerting. So, if he’d indulged in touching more recently, well, he was only trying to get what he could while Jared was still around.
By the time the car pulled up in front of their house (and it really was their house now), Jensen was positively petrified. He wrestled Jared out of the car and up the walk. As he struggled to get the front door open, which was no easy feat with Jared draped all over him, Jensen knew he had to get Jared away from him as quickly as possible.
Things did not go according to Jensen’s plan.
Jared practically slammed him up against the door and attempted to kiss him. Jensen called it an attempt because, even though there was lip to lip contact, Jared was so drunk it was way too sloppy to be called a proper kiss.
“Whoa, Jared,” Jensen said, pushing him back. “What are you doing?”
“Kissing you,” Jared slurred.
“I noticed that. What I mean is, why?”
“’Cause I noticed, Jen. And I need to know.”
Oh, shit. Jared knew.
“What did you notice? What do you need to know?” Jensen asked gently.
“That you’re in love with me. And I need to know if I’m in love with you, too.”
Jensen hung his head and sighed. This was the last thing he’d wanted to happen. Jared wasn’t supposed to know. And since when did Jared go around kissing guys, anyway? He was definitely a zero on the scale.
“You don’t know if you’re in love with me and thought kissing me would help you work it out?”
Jensen waited as Jared seemed to think over his question. With an enthusiastic nod, Jared started to lean in again. Jensen put his hands up on Jared’s chest (And damn! When did he get so fucking built?) to keep him from coming any closer. He had to put a stop to this; he didn’t want Jared regretting anything they might do together.
“Jay, man,” Jensen whispered. “Don’t do this. Not now, okay? If you still want to do this when you’re sober, then I’ll listen. But not now. Not like this. Okay?”
Jared pouted. And Jensen didn’t want to see that. Jared in full pout mode was a force to be reckoned with. He had to get Jared away from him. Everything would be better in the morning.
“Let’s get you to bed, buddy.”
Jensen was glad when Jared let himself be dragged upstairs to his room. They started getting Jared undressed, but Jared turned out to be more of a hindrance in his inebriation, so Jensen got him to stop and finished stripping Jared down to his boxers. He tucked him into bed and went to get a glass of water from the bathroom and some aspirin for the morning. He started to leave and put himself to bed when Jared reached out to grab his wrist.
“Don’t go,” he whispered.
Jensen brushed the hair back from Jared’s forehead, trying to ignore the way Jared was stroking the skin on his wrist, and sat on the edge of the bed, unable to deny his friend anything. “I’ll stay ‘til you fall asleep,” Jensen promised.
Jensen kept watch as Jared’s breath slowly evened out and he seemed to fall asleep. Jensen got up off the bed and was almost to the door when he heard Jared.
“Love you, Jen.”
“Love you, too,” Jensen replied to the sleeping Jared.
What a mess.
THE END
Part 2: Promise
