I'm not THAT amazing of a wife, am I?

[switch842]

So, about every other year hubby's family goes skiing sometime between Christmas and New Year's. About a year after we met, I went with. That was my first time skiing ever. It was OK. We've been going with consistently since then. About 3 trips all told. The last trip we went on just did not work for me. I was never a big fan of skiing after learning how. I just didn't see the point of hurling myself down a mountain at full speed after riding up it in a chair REALLY HIGH off the ground. It just wasn't fun for me. But the last trip was pretty much the final straw. I ended up with brand new boots from the rental place. Which you think would be awesome, but no. They had not been stretched or broken in at all and were so horribly tight I was crying in pain. Plus they managed to aggravate my shin splints. So, after about 2 runs the first day I just threw in the towel and was done for the week. And I told hubs when we got home that I really didn't care for skiing and would probably not be going on anymore trips.

Fast forward to this year. It's that time of year. His mom wants to know if he's coming or not. He asks me. He loves skiing, so if he wants to go it's fine with me. *shrug* He keeps asking like 8 times if it's really OK. Yes, it is. I promise. I know I'm pregnant, but it's not like I've been having any complications or things are going very badly with it. I think I can manage for a week by myself. Really. So, he hugs me like this is the greatest thing ever. OK.

And this came up when we were at my brother's for Thanksgiving. I had reiterated, AGAIN, that, yes, you can go if you want. I promise it's fine. And my brother started laughing and joking like I would turn into one of those wives that as soon as he got home I'd be all "I can't believe you went!! How could you leave me alone AND PREGNANT for a week?!?!?"

I don't get it. I've never been like that. He wants to go skiing, OK, go. Have fun. Please don't break your leg. I mean, is it really that odd that I'm "letting" my husband go on a trip with his family for a week? *head scratch*

Comments

[djfavorite.livejournal.com]

I think you're being awesome about it. Every couple needs their own time. Shoot, how many times has he 'let' you go trapsing around the country to oggle good looking guys? If things are going fine with the pregnancy, then he should go and enjoy himself. Next time he might not be able to.

[switch842.livejournal.com]

Exactly! I mean, we've never been one of those couples that OMG has to do everything together, anyway. And, yeah, if he has no problems (that he says, anyway) with me doing my con thing, he can go skiing. No biggie.

[gategrrl.livejournal.com]

You COULD be really really blunt with him; that after the baby arrives, he and you won't have as many opportunities to go skiing/conventioning, what have you.

And believe me, you'll also really enjoy looking back on that "empty" week of being by yourself after the baby comes. Tell him that, too.

[switch842.livejournal.com]

I think he gets it now. He was going to call his mom and let her know that he is coming. It just took some convincing that when I said it was OK I really meant it. LOL

[whisper99.livejournal.com]

He might actually not really want to go by himself...

[switch842.livejournal.com]

Well, we never really stuck together while we were up there anyway. Cos he's waaaaaaaaaay more advanced than I am. So, he'd be out doing his thing and I'd be over on the bunny slopes anyway. He usually stuck with his brothers as they're more the daredevils in the family.

[whisper99.livejournal.com]

Ah. Maybe he's just feeling guilty leaving you all alone then :)

[littleheaven70.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's weird at all! But then hubby and I have always had one of those relationships where we've had separate hobbies and are quite happy to let the other go off and do whatever. He was cool with me flying to LA for a week to go to a convention. I have no issue with him going golfing with his mates.

Since Griffin was born I do occasionally put my foot down if I feel like he's been spending too much time on the golf course and not enough with his son, but the secret to us still being married after 13 years (and together for 18) is that we don't spend the whole time in each others pockets.

[switch842.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm sure once the little guy comes things might be a little different. But considering I just bought my gold ticket to next year's Chicago Con (HEWLETT!!!!!!!!!!!), maybe not by too much. LOL

[suebsg9.livejournal.com]

I am excited we got Hewlett finally in Chicago and you are a good wife and it is going away with his family skiing not like you would be able to do that so you will be able to relax while he is off doing something he has really fun doing. Can't wait to see you guys in August :) And pics of your newest addition :)

[switch842.livejournal.com]

Yup. I wouldn't be doing much if I went along, anyway. Might as well stay home in my comfy house. :-)

[littleheaven70.livejournal.com]

I think it's important to keep some time for yourself where you just ditch the kid and go do your thing. Armageddon Expo is sacred around here. Every year I give Griffin to someone in the family and get my geek on for the day. Even if the Chicago Con is the only thing you do, it's good to have that time to yourself.

Are you leaving work to be an at-home mum or taking maternity leave and then going back?

[switch842.livejournal.com]

Sadly, we cannot afford for me to be a stay at home mom. We're still discussing the particulars of me returning to work. I am set up to be able to work from home and I do have a really hard time imagining myself going back to work after 6 weeks and leaving my baby somewhere. So, we might be able to work something out with that. *fingers crossed*

[littleheaven70.livejournal.com]

I hope you find something that works for you. It really is so hard these days, with mortgages so big and trying to balance everything. I also had to return to work, though I managed to scrape together enough savings to take the first year off. I really enjoyed going back, and Griffin LOVES his daycare. It's worked really, really well for us. Working from home sounds like a great compromise, if you can swing it.

[switch842.livejournal.com]

I'm sure we will. It's just a matter of sitting down and really talking it out with everyone about what I would like to do and what's actually feasible to do.

[erin-anderson.livejournal.com]

Some wives are just horribly clingy and bossy. I keep running into that myself when everyone asks why my husband isn't with me 24/7. Even when he could be with me 24/7 he wasn't. I'd leave him somewhere for his 12 hour anime marathons and pick him up when he was done. Some couples don't do the whole "seperate hobbies" thing. You guys are a much healthier couple for being able to do your own thing. He will have fun and you will enjoy having some time to yourself.

[switch842.livejournal.com]

Yes, those couples that are never apart are always the ones that seem to end up fighting every day and divorced. Kinda sad. And I really don't understand them. Did you not have a life before you got married?

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I've always thought skiing was a rather masochistic sport; if you want to simulate it go to a fast food restaurant, go into the walk in freezer and repeatedly throw yourself to the floor.

[switch842.livejournal.com]

LOL That is a very appropriate analogy. :-)

[nikki-dichotomy.livejournal.com]

I know a few women who would not be happy about the hubby going. I don't get it, either.

[switch842.livejournal.com]

Those people are crazy...

[duck-wrangler.livejournal.com]

It shouldn't be unusual or odd, but I am endlessly SHOCKED by how many married people get all crazy about that sort of thing. I've got a friend who when she got married she & her husband agreed that it was okay to take some separate vacations (she likes camping he HATES it). She and I have not been able to go away together after the 1st year of her marriage, because he gets all bitchy and possesive and makes her life miserable when she gets home. I don't get it!

So even though it doesn't seem that big of a deal, you really are quite special for being uber cool about it. But then again, you are uber cool, period. :)

[switch842.livejournal.com]

See, those are the people I don't get. The ones that say it's OK then pitch a hissy fit after the fact. It's either OK or it's not. But, damnit, make up your mind!

[duck-wrangler.livejournal.com]

From your lips to his ears! DITTO, I SOOOO do not understand it. I really hope I NEVER become that possive of another human being. It's just not healthy for EITHER person!

[amnellwyvern.livejournal.com]

*points to icon*

I think possessive clingy women are giving the rest of us bad names.

[switch842.livejournal.com]

:-D

[duck-wrangler.livejournal.com]

I SECOND that!!!!

Wait, can I second it 2 or 3 times?

[gaeln.livejournal.com]

you're a caring wife who knows her limits but doesn't believe her partner should be also confined by those limits. He should go, he should enjoy the time he has with his family. All seems right to me.

[switch842.livejournal.com]

*nods* :-)

Just because I hate skiing doesn't mean my husband (who loves it) should never get to go.

[shanachie-quill.livejournal.com]

I think it would be different if you were having complications or something, but yeah why not? Let him go do something he enjoys and you have a nice quiet week to do something you like.

One of my best friends came out east and spent a week with us here before her daughter was born and she AND her husband enjoyed the time apart. Hope ya both enjoy your mini-vacations!

[switch842.livejournal.com]

have a nice quiet week to do something you like.

Like, nothing? LOL :-)

But, yeah. I don't see what the big deal is that some other people do. *shrug*

[shanachie-quill.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! Do nothing. You certainly won't be doing much of that once the little one arrives.

Yeah I don't see what the big deal is either...not like he's running away with ya know strangers or something.